Infertility can take a person to a very dark place. I know because I have been there, and am working on getting out. After Nolan was born, I was immediately yearning for another child. I was in panic mode worrying about how or IF I would ever get pregnant again. I had more regular cycles, so we tried on our own for four of them. Finally, I called the RE again, and we got started. We found out about Lincoln a month before Nolan turned one. Looking back, the timing was perfect. Looking back, I enjoyed Nolan as an infant, but I sort of get sad when I think of how much I could have and did miss because I was so focused on having another.
I am still ready for more children. I would love to be pregnant now. This time around it is different however. I am refusing to let myself get to the same place I was before. I know that we will have more children. It has happened twice, and it will happen again. I believe that it will happen on its own this time, but if for some reason I am wrong, we know what was successful for us before, and that it will help again.
The issue with our fertility lies within me. Mr. is fine, I can carry a baby, it is just the getting there that has been a concern.
I went to a play date today at the home of a friend. I had never met the other two mothers there, but it was a really nice time. One of the moms just had her third miscarriage two months ago, and she is still feeling pretty raw about it. We talked for a while about it, and the desire to have children, and came to the conclusion that some people who have never gone through it just do not get it. That is not a criticism. I would love to not get it in this situation. I also would not wish the pain of infertility on anyone, friend or foe.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment